I'm once again injured. I twisted my ankle during badminton practice a few days ago. That makes it two times that I've twisted an ankle in just as many weeks.
This time, the pain from my ankle foot bending inwards was a 9 out of 10. I was screaming for a solid minute, and my watch had a loud noise warning. It hurt. It really hurt.
It's been a few days and time has dulled the pain, both literally in the sense that my foot doesn't hurt as much and also mentally in that I don't remember much about how badly it hurt in the moment.
My most vivid memory of the injury was how helpless I felt. Even while writhing on the ground, I felt insignificant. All my efforts over the past few months disappeared in the fraction of a second. I remember slamming my hand into the ground again and again and feeling a hot streak of anger snake from my fingers to my toes.
When I started this journey of playing badminton professionally, I wanted to feel the highs and lows that only sports players can get. In that sense, I've gotten half of what I set out to find. The time I was on the ground was hopefully the lowest point that I'll ever experience.
With a few days of time and my foot healing faster than expected, I'm starting to reign my emotions back under control. I hate what happened to me but now that it's happened, there's nothing to do but to do the best with the cards that I have. In poker, no one can control the river and turn cards. All that the player can do is make the most comprehensive read and decide how they respond to them.
I'm going to work on my swing. This is a weak point in my game and I can improve my arm muscles without putting too much pressure on my ankle. I'll do more core exercises and strengthen my side muscles to rely less on my legs to carry me around the court.
I can't magically heal my ankle but I can start exercises to prevent future injuries like towel scrunches, balance, and ankle strength.
At the risk of sounding a bit too full of myself, I've always thought of myself as a resilent person. I took a few days to mope and laze around after the injury. Now, it's time to get back to work.